A Review: What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat
Published 2.4.2025: What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon is not a new book, but I finally decided to read it (before finishing Exercised… which I will finish… ) The book is VERY repetitive. It could have been ½ the size. I don’t disbelieve her arguments and examples, and yet, I do think she over-exaggerates a lot.
Part of the problem, for me, is that I used to read her articles she published under the pseudonym, Yrfatfriend at Medium. A lot of the book seems to be reworked posts that she’s written and published previously. But the fact is that she also says the same thing over and over, in slightly different ways. Gordon’s thesis is that fat doesn’t matter for health, period.
And even, she says if it does matter (because in actuality it does) it still shouldn’t matter. The fattest people (and she is one of them at roughly 350 pounds) should still get all of the same societal perks that smaller bodies do. Things she suggests include chairs that don’t collapse (Up to what weight? She suggests 500 lbs, but there are people larger than that), and no fat jokes of any kind, ever. There is other “rainbows and unicorns” suggestions, each as unlikely as re-purchasing chairs that are rated for 500 lbs. Never, ever, discussed by fat activists (certainly not by Gordon) is how much these changes would cost, and who pays.
She does mention that she lost a bit of weight— which I remember from the Medium posts. Later she says that the weight loss was unintentional, though that is not what I remember from the Medium posts. What I remember is that she became uncomfortable and lost a bit of weight to alleviate it. She was still fat, just not as fat. Apparently, even that is not allowed in her current framing. She never does fully flesh it out in the book, just mentions it twice.
She cohosts a podcast known as, Maintenance Phase. The conceit of the podcast is that they debunk health claims of influencers and authors. I do listen to the podcast, and several of the books and people they cover I am familiar with. I haven’t fact checked them, but nothing I’ve heard has been too egregiously wrong. Others would disagree— others who have fact checked them.
I didn’t enjoy the book because it was too repetitive, and it felt like I’d read most of it before. However, in researching for this piece, I came across a YouTuber who has addressed Gordon critically— and had opinions I'd never seen before. Graphically Alex is a YouTuber with a channel with that same name, and he has very strong reactions to Aubrey Gordon.
Alex is a formerly super morbidly obese man with thyroid issues caused by the huge weight gain, and his take is one that I haven’t seen before. He, more than anyone else, has caused me to rethink my weight loss stance. The way I lost weight would likely not work for a super morbidly obese person, because they have issues far beyond the obesity.
Basically, what I say is to begin as you mean to go on, which means eating the number of calories to support the weight you want to be. For a super morbidly obese person, this is not possible per Alex— in part because to maintain that size you have to eat over 3000 calories. And I have no reason to not believe him. He’s been morbidly obese, I have not. Cutting from over 3000 calories to a maintenance level would represent an extreme change, one that no one is liable to maintain for long.
Graphically Alex has a number of videos about Aubrey Gordon, but this one sums it up pretty well.
1. Alex thinks Aubrey is still 11 years old in her mind. She hasn’t gotten over her childhood yet.
2. Alex does NOT like Aubrey Gordon.
3. Alex has also been to Weight Watchers, and his memories doesn’t match Gordon's. Bascially, he thinks she's lying.
4. He thinks a lot of her logic is ED (eating disorder) think. I do agree with Alex that she must suffer from BED (binge eating disorder). He admits that he did. He’s channel is based on how he recovered.
5. He thinks that all morbidly obese people have ED logic (if not an actual ED).
Essentially, Graphically Alex makes me think in a way that most YouTube content does not. I think I will revisit his channel in a later piece.
Bottom line: What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is not for someone who has ever read an article by Aubrey Gordon. There is little new in the book. The most interesting bit would have been about her weight loss, and she doesn’t cover that. I would not recommend this book. It didn’t take long to read because it’s very repetitive.
Part of the problem, for me, is that I used to read her articles she published under the pseudonym, Yrfatfriend at Medium. A lot of the book seems to be reworked posts that she’s written and published previously. But the fact is that she also says the same thing over and over, in slightly different ways. Gordon’s thesis is that fat doesn’t matter for health, period.
And even, she says if it does matter (because in actuality it does) it still shouldn’t matter. The fattest people (and she is one of them at roughly 350 pounds) should still get all of the same societal perks that smaller bodies do. Things she suggests include chairs that don’t collapse (Up to what weight? She suggests 500 lbs, but there are people larger than that), and no fat jokes of any kind, ever. There is other “rainbows and unicorns” suggestions, each as unlikely as re-purchasing chairs that are rated for 500 lbs. Never, ever, discussed by fat activists (certainly not by Gordon) is how much these changes would cost, and who pays.
She does mention that she lost a bit of weight— which I remember from the Medium posts. Later she says that the weight loss was unintentional, though that is not what I remember from the Medium posts. What I remember is that she became uncomfortable and lost a bit of weight to alleviate it. She was still fat, just not as fat. Apparently, even that is not allowed in her current framing. She never does fully flesh it out in the book, just mentions it twice.
She cohosts a podcast known as, Maintenance Phase. The conceit of the podcast is that they debunk health claims of influencers and authors. I do listen to the podcast, and several of the books and people they cover I am familiar with. I haven’t fact checked them, but nothing I’ve heard has been too egregiously wrong. Others would disagree— others who have fact checked them.
I didn’t enjoy the book because it was too repetitive, and it felt like I’d read most of it before. However, in researching for this piece, I came across a YouTuber who has addressed Gordon critically— and had opinions I'd never seen before. Graphically Alex is a YouTuber with a channel with that same name, and he has very strong reactions to Aubrey Gordon.
Alex is a formerly super morbidly obese man with thyroid issues caused by the huge weight gain, and his take is one that I haven’t seen before. He, more than anyone else, has caused me to rethink my weight loss stance. The way I lost weight would likely not work for a super morbidly obese person, because they have issues far beyond the obesity.
Basically, what I say is to begin as you mean to go on, which means eating the number of calories to support the weight you want to be. For a super morbidly obese person, this is not possible per Alex— in part because to maintain that size you have to eat over 3000 calories. And I have no reason to not believe him. He’s been morbidly obese, I have not. Cutting from over 3000 calories to a maintenance level would represent an extreme change, one that no one is liable to maintain for long.
Graphically Alex has a number of videos about Aubrey Gordon, but this one sums it up pretty well.
1. Alex thinks Aubrey is still 11 years old in her mind. She hasn’t gotten over her childhood yet.
2. Alex does NOT like Aubrey Gordon.
3. Alex has also been to Weight Watchers, and his memories doesn’t match Gordon's. Bascially, he thinks she's lying.
4. He thinks a lot of her logic is ED (eating disorder) think. I do agree with Alex that she must suffer from BED (binge eating disorder). He admits that he did. He’s channel is based on how he recovered.
5. He thinks that all morbidly obese people have ED logic (if not an actual ED).
Essentially, Graphically Alex makes me think in a way that most YouTube content does not. I think I will revisit his channel in a later piece.
Bottom line: What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is not for someone who has ever read an article by Aubrey Gordon. There is little new in the book. The most interesting bit would have been about her weight loss, and she doesn’t cover that. I would not recommend this book. It didn’t take long to read because it’s very repetitive.